ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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