Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
Randomize
