Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Randomize
