It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
Hippo gnu deer
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
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