I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
wow bdsm is so cute
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
