Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
Randomize
