I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
Randomize
