Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Randomize
