Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
Randomize
