WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
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