man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
