Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
Randomize
