The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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