I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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