Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Randomize
