I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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