i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
Randomize
