I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
Randomize