hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
What drink are we having for lunch?
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
Randomize
