sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
Randomize
