I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Randomize
