there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
Randomize
