Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
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