He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
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