her vagine was all disorganized.
I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
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