She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
Randomize
