What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
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