Hey man sorry I got all grabby
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Randomize
