Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
