Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Randomize
