I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
I'm sitting next to this guy at the bar. I wrote him a little song in my head it goes "there is no fucking chance you're getting in my pants" gonna sing it to him after he buys me another drink.
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
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