8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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