its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
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