We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
