I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
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