OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
Randomize
