Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
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