i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
Randomize
