I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
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