How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize
