and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Randomize
