It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
