The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
tell me about the eggs
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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