my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
