when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
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