If i come over, it means nothing
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize
