we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize