it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
