I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Randomize
