lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
Randomize
