A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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