Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
She swung at the pinata with crutches
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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