Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
I'm drive I can fine osifer
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
