3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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