Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
Randomize