yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
Randomize
