Dual....:-)
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
The Olympian is in my bed
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
Randomize
