Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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