are you still at the devil's house?
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
Randomize
