he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
Boobs are out for the taking
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
