their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
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