I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
I think I just saw someone hide a body.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Randomize
