her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
Randomize
