We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Randomize
