dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Randomize
